Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Yeay Me!

I hate (okay, Love) to toot my own horn, but an awesome anniversary occurred last night at 10:30 p.m......

I have been cigarette-free for 2 months!!!!

Yeay Me!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

On a Positive Note

Today is my Seven Week Anniversary of Not Smoking!!!!!!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

conflicting goals

I don't want to be fat anymore. I don't want to be this out of shape and uncomfortable anymore. My 36th birthday is coming up and part of me wants to set a firm goal of being at a reasonable weight (to be defined) by the time I'm 40 or I go and get lap-band surgery. (See, giving myself 4 years to lose 100 lbs.)

I know I'm never going to weigh 126 pounds again. I know I won't ever be a size 8 again. (People often re-gain the weight after weight-loss surgery and it can have serious, serious side-effects.) I'm really proud of the fact that I weigh less now than I did nine months ago. That illness and injuries aside, I've been going to my "gym" pretty regularly.

I'm conflicted.

I want to buy into the myth that if I just deny myself enough and work hard enough I'll be as beautifual as I was at 19 again. But, I'm a realist and I know it doesn't work that way. That I should focus on being healthier. Exercising because my mood is so much better if I get to the gym at least twice a week, finding a way for all of us to get exercise together, eating better so Billy will eat better, focusing on what's going to make my life better and longer instead of my wardrobe and how other people see me.

So, I won't beat myself up over being 1.5 pound more than yesterday, or for the donuts I had at breakfast. But, I will go to the gym this afternoon and really push myself, and maybe I'll have a salad instead of french fries at lunch.

And then I....

gained back the 5 pounds I lost. :(

But on the upside, I walked to work (and home) twice this week (Tues and Wed). And Wed night I (with a bunch of people) walked probably another 3-5 miles.

Yesterday Stacie and I went to the pool and did 6 laps (down and back 3 times- it's a long pool).

In non-weight related news, I bought some fabric and a pattern last night for 2 new pairs of pants.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

tiny steps

I'm back down to where I was before I went to VT for the weekend. Fortunately, I only gained 2 pounds. I went to the "gym" last night and I've had salads for dinner the last two days. Now, to convince myself to eat leftovers for lunch instead of the fried chicken cutlet sandwich I really want!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

treading water

I've been gaining and losing the same 3 pounds for the last two months. I thnk that's called maintaining.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I'm back, if anyone cares.

Yesterday I weighed myself and I was down 5 pounds to 229. I am still surprised. :)

I've been walking to and from work (between 1 and1.5 miles, one way).


-(as an aside: can't wait to see you annette!)